You're living a normal early teenage life. Doing what you so desire, top of the rung, happy.
Shit happens.
It breaks you - as a person, as a success in your own eyes in many other countless ways.
You reduce yourself to near nothingness. Much like a carcass disintegrating decidedly but ever so slowly, you gather the strength to get on to your feet. Life as you see it now has changed. Nothing could ever be the same again.
You become cold as you move on in life. Things just refuse to matter anymore. You can go the distance alone, or so you feel. You are happy alone. You think/love nought but yourself.
Cuts and bruises genuinely hurt a little less. There is focus in life, but most of it centered around your own self.
People refuse to understand you anymore. Friends drift apart, people get madly pissed at you. People you once cared for, are hurting badly and need you more than ever. Yet, you are indifferent inside, don't quite care and are content for the most of it.
Yet you are passionate, very much alive - for things you believe in, for things you want, for things that revolve mostly around you. You are living for yourself.
This is what I have found life to be. This is how I would define life progress, perhaps even success in a weird, contorted and twisted manner.
13 comments:
True -we are self-centered monsters..
So true..
Which is sad no.. I know I have changed after the experiences i've had in my life till now.. but i don't enjoy the change, though its become life now..
That was what I was thinking today. The world has been teaching love others. But the world is still in a mess.
So I thought, lets revert the teaching once. Love oneself...
That is the first step. To love one self. To love our passion. to be selfish. But what I have found in life, after some very disturbing experiences that when we are selfish, truly selfish, we begin to love others, selflessly. That is where our happiness in the end lies.
We cannot love the whole world. But few people, with whom we are madly in love with! :)
And one who is truly selfish, will in the end be compassionate. As it is that state where our happiness lies.
The difference between selfishness I am writing about and what today's selfishness is... these selfish people are like scared dogs.
We need to be brave, bold, flamboyant, selfish people. That's what the world needs! :)
@ Kasturi - :)
@ Aditi - I dont think its sad at all. I think its a way we look at things, and that it be sad or happy is upto us.
@PJ - well written!!! and i totally agree..
@ Abhishek and PJ: very true..and well written...
Cannot tell you how much I can relate to it dude. Well written :)
pretty accurate description of where I seem to be headed right now!!
@ bahri. Thank you.
@ VJ - I'm guessing a lot of us would be able to. Glad you could. Thanks.
@ nikki - hmmmmm.....
i agree with what you have written in the 5th and 6th paras..
though speaking for myself, as i become colder on the outside and more able to handle painful times, on the inside i wud very much need empathy and love..
Have you listened to the track Extreme ways by moby - OST of the Bourne series? .......
That song is a perfect answer for this article ...
Be Ruthless... Be happy.
Not True. Disagree. Its completely upto u to decide how u want to live. If u think ur current state is hurting, its upto u to change it. Or do sthing abt it.
In other news, I sppose Daaru is in order after this post ;)
self centered jerk!
suggestion: go to a place of ancient heritage... somewhere like Agra or Hampi. Spend a couple of days there
When one changes one's environment weirdly enough to shock the self, new factes come up, right now u r just fuckin bored!
I struggle with questions like these all the time but never quite really reach any conclusions. As it see it man, its more about belonging. Be where you feel you fit in and don't much fuck with your mind.
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