Comfort

Yet again, I take on a path I am well versed with.
A path of remembrance,
of forgetting and forgiving,
of rediscovering life,
of smiling with tears in my eyes,
of lying still for hours,
weeping in the hollows of my mind.

A path I oft need to go on,
for the lack of life in me,
for the nothingness inside of me,
for the wastefulness of my life,
for the futility of it all.

A path of The Fountainhead,
a walk alongside Roark,
a dive off the high cliff,
a little talk with Gail,
some silent conversations with Dominique.

I go now to read the book of my life. My Fountainhead, The Fountainhead.

Issues

Issue No 1. IIMA - Its flaws.
Sangharsh, a sports competition between IIM A, B and L (first timers) which was held at IIM A this year, came to a nail biting close two days back. It was a time when we forgot the normal days of cases, quizzes and what not, to live, eat, drink and sleep sports. THE event for sports lovers on campus, it is an event very close to heart for each IIMite, and is valued on those lines too.
Valued alas only by the students, at least from what was apparent in the apathetic and sadistic, if I may call it so, behaviour of IIM A's administration and faculty towards it.
I'll take the liberty of running you through what I'm talking about.
Saturday, Sangharsh begun in the morning with a few students having matches before and during classes. A little surprised, well no one in their right mind would even think that IIM A could cancel a day's worth of class now could they!!
Hold on; it gets better. What might you think we had in our minds at the end of classes? I can tell you what it wasn't, it wasn't a quiz. Now, an IIM A student not having 'quizzes' in his mind; unacceptable. So they decided to send a googly our way, holding a quiz, on a Saturday, despite the unwritten rule that there shall be no quizzes on Saturdays, IN THE MIDDLE OF SANGHARSH ESPECIALLY!!
What hurt the most was that it was taken for a course without a specified course component.
No, infact what hurt the most was the apathy, indifference and near happiness with which the relevant professor was explaining how the quiz came about to occur.
I cannot understand how an institute meant for some of the best of India, having some of the best brains of India as faculty doesn't quite realise the importance of non-academic activities as having a major contribution to the development of an individual. It is unbelievable how a premier institute like this can suppress all 'extra' curricular activites, forget about proactively taking some interest in them!
It doesn't irritate me as much as it pains me.

Issue No 2. Settling Down.
I have a major concern, albeit extremely premature and idiotic in nature; 'When, and with whom will I settle down?'.
If I had one wish this moment, it would be to have someone I love, booked for marriage with whom it WILL work out and I want it to work out etc etc.
It sounds and truly is quite lame, but I cant help it. I have had enough of a lot of things!
I just wish I could give all my love, emotion, care; my all to someone without any fear, something that I believe can only happen one last time now.

Issue No 3. Idleness.
Bigtime issue!
I am at the pinnacle of idleness despite having a lot to do in some ways and a lot I could do in others. Need enthusiasm, and it really isn't coming out right now. This is the most pressing one of all, and hope it's sorted asap.

It bothers my little brain,
all these things, this pain,
I do not like it, I wish it gone,
so I can be at peace on my own.
-----

infinitely bored.
x(

Tired.

I'm tired of everything!

Everlasting Love

All about hoops, a ball, some rules and plays,
you have given me so many fun filled days.
You give me the freedom from life I so long for,
you help me mute the volume on life's daily war.

With you, I am myself, uninhibited, true, and free,
I care not for money, fame or any other stupidity.
That my love is pure, I know for I seek nothing from being with you,
yours is unconditional too, for you ask nothing but that I be with you.

You hurt me, you bleed me, you break me too,
for you I always buy the most expensive shoe,
and everyday, I wait to sweat an tire some more,
that much, far more infact, you, I adore.

Basketball - The only thing I'm sure I'm passionate about; I love you.
:)

Soulmate?

In hard times, she is my pillar of strength,
from the sinful world, she is my refuge,
in desperation and loneliness, she is my friend,
in times of darkness, she is my guiding light.

There aren't many for whom I'd go the length,
of creating of love and care a maddening deluge.
A little small talk with her, wish it'd never end,
it leaves me so much at peace, serene and light.

It's confusing at moments, lucid at others.
She's the integral part of my life of fractions,
what I would do without her, I cannot envision,
for above all, it is the only abode of my purity.

I have a subtle fear, what if this too withers,
possible for all of life's anomalies and aberrations,
yet, I vow to not let this love come to a cessation,
it is my all - it is what heaven means to me.

Abhishek Agarwal.

Of Love, Nothingness and Me

Nought more than a triviality was I,
in your highness's mundane life.
But a new toy to play with was I,
in your young princess's lonely life.
---
I could not bear upon myself to see,
the truth that I believe was my downfall,
the truth of what I didn't mean to thee,
the truth out in the open to one and all.

Yet today, my love you ask me to gaze,
upon what, I chose long before to not see,
which has been my pain in all those days,
when I was happily in bed with thee.

Gaze I have, and for very long too,
in the silent moments of the night,
Alas left with nothing more to do,
I gave up the will to fight.

Abhishek Agarwal

Third Term

Been some time since I posted, so just thought I'll talk a bit on random things.
Third term at IIMA has begun and with it the feeling of the end of 'fuchchadom', as the torment of the first year here is lovingly called. Though initially much looked forward to, I have my reservations about how badly and if at all I completely look forward to the end. 'Tuchchadom' as the emptiness and nothingness of the second year is fondly called is traditionally something every fresher considers to be near nirvana like.
After a very harsh and stressful first year, the sentiment is not without reason. A year with barely any holidays, tons of classes and the simmer placements to mention a few things, it was a very full one. With the internship right after and then back to second year, the respite we all seek can be found only in the second year itself. A well deserved break it definitely is, and possibly one in which we can go on to dive into subjects and activities of our choice, something nearly not possible in the first year. I too in the midst of the madness of previous terms had made and still make grand plans or what all I intend to do in my extremely 'vella' second year.
Looking back however, I realize that the sheer amount and quality of what I've been taught, and the fraction of it which I've learnt, is outstanding to say the least. Another year of such value addition not limited to the academic sense could do wonders in making me far more wholesome. Without any shame I admit that I would rather have them give me another year of hell which in retrospect would be one of the two most formative years of my life. I say this with a overall perspective too. There will no doubt be several of a who manage quite skillfully to make the best of the second year learning as we go, but there would I'm sure be a vast majority as well who would just while it away.
As the instruments of change in the future I do think we can, rather should have a more responsible outlook and seek a year of learning than one of just nothing!
Temptations have always been hard to resist, but as was once said, if not us who, if not now when?
Amen.