Now I'm gonna start on a series of poems I've written long back. A lot of them you would, correctly so, find infantile and naive and kiddish.
They are quite personal, so be a bit kind, and they are of when I was infantile and naive and kiddish!.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A minute at a time.
4:14 am on a late Thursday night.
Half a can of beer.
Alone.
In the mood to enjoy the company of those I like best - solitude thus being apt.
Is it in man's fundamental nature to be lazy.
Is it possible to be indifferent.
Is it possible to look death in the eye.
Does it make sense to live for the moment.
A barrage of questions pop in and out of the basket that is my mind.
Answers hide in oblivion, not that I complain.
This isn't a night where I'm seeking answers.
It's a night I'm choosing to just be.
Just be what I am, do what I feel like, say what I wish.
I realised it had been a while I hadn't done that.
Why does that happen I wonder? Why do we drift off and become someone we aren't in the race of life? Are we merely living upto expectations - of ourselves, of others etc, or a random drift we become aware of only when the cognitive dissonance is too much to bear.
I wonder.
I drift.
I come back only to drift away again. Occasionally, I like the drift, and change my own course.
Over and over.
The clock ticks away. I am living, dying, a minute at a time.
I like that I'm living and dying on my own terms, a minute at a time.
Amen.
Half a can of beer.
Alone.
In the mood to enjoy the company of those I like best - solitude thus being apt.
Is it in man's fundamental nature to be lazy.
Is it possible to be indifferent.
Is it possible to look death in the eye.
Does it make sense to live for the moment.
A barrage of questions pop in and out of the basket that is my mind.
Answers hide in oblivion, not that I complain.
This isn't a night where I'm seeking answers.
It's a night I'm choosing to just be.
Just be what I am, do what I feel like, say what I wish.
I realised it had been a while I hadn't done that.
Why does that happen I wonder? Why do we drift off and become someone we aren't in the race of life? Are we merely living upto expectations - of ourselves, of others etc, or a random drift we become aware of only when the cognitive dissonance is too much to bear.
I wonder.
I drift.
I come back only to drift away again. Occasionally, I like the drift, and change my own course.
Over and over.
The clock ticks away. I am living, dying, a minute at a time.
I like that I'm living and dying on my own terms, a minute at a time.
Amen.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Dark Desires
I see the world around quite troubled,
For now many a desire of mankind,
Doth lie hidden, bound and shackled,
By chains we made up in our minds.
Oft when we know what we truly want,
We disguise it for the fear of being judged,
Not by family, friends, peers or society,
But bybthe very mind which within,
Harbours those dark disguised desires.
Perhaps you, I, we all wish thus is were not,
But even my dememented, handicapped brain,
Sees it to be a mark of the progress of our civilized lot,
The power of human will to fight away dark desires,
To behold joys unknown to our fire fathers in caves...
-- The thought's spoken of here aren't quite crystal in mind yet, so forgive me for vagueness or any ambiguity in the meaning.
For now many a desire of mankind,
Doth lie hidden, bound and shackled,
By chains we made up in our minds.
Oft when we know what we truly want,
We disguise it for the fear of being judged,
Not by family, friends, peers or society,
But bybthe very mind which within,
Harbours those dark disguised desires.
Perhaps you, I, we all wish thus is were not,
But even my dememented, handicapped brain,
Sees it to be a mark of the progress of our civilized lot,
The power of human will to fight away dark desires,
To behold joys unknown to our fire fathers in caves...
-- The thought's spoken of here aren't quite crystal in mind yet, so forgive me for vagueness or any ambiguity in the meaning.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Flying Dutchmen of Ultimate Frisbee
A breezy saturday evening, and the beautiful LKP lawns lit with floodlight - an
almost perfect day was made even better with some spectacular ultimate frisbee
display tonite.
The three teams - Stormchasers(Mumbai), Indicorp(Ahmedabad) and Flying
Dutchmen(IIMA) were out for some great contest on the opening day of the
Ultimate Frisbee Challenge. And guess what home team dominated just the way all
the home supporters expected beating both the opposing teams quite
comprehensively.
The results :
Match 1: Indicorp beat S'chasers 18-16
Match 2: Flying D'men beat Indicorp 27-17
Match 3: Flying D'men beat S'chasers 25-12
Indicorp were led by the brilliant combination of their 2 star players Jai and
Jesse. One of the youngster (prob Jiga) also showed some spectacular throws and
collects. Jesse's 12 feet high collect, flying over 2 offense players and one
of his teammates was the kodak moment of the first match. The Indicorp team
deserves a special appreciation for the fact that it was mixed gender team
making life really tough for all men opposition team.
Stormchasers put up a good fight in the first game but really lost the plot
against in the 2nd game against the Flying Dutchmen.They had a great thrower in
Sanal and a few good chasers in Qwick and Jhonny, but it seemed the team had a
few less experienced people as well and this cost them the game. But great
spirit shown by them in coming over from Mumbai and making this event
possible.
Flying Dutchmen were the team of the day (or night- considering they played
both their matches back to back after 9pm). May be no star players like Jesse
or Jai but the team was a really well balanced unit with no apparent weakness.
Defense was resilient and impressive to watch , offense was lightning fast
leaving the opposition defense chasing ghosts. The domination was so obvious
that in the 2nd half of the last game they were scoring freely even with the
reserves.
On a technical note - just need to iron out our throwing to make sure that
fewer turnovers happen.
All in all a great day of competition. Some great sporting spirit and some
great competetive frisbee. Hoping for a even greater final tomm at 9::30 pm,
same venue.
almost perfect day was made even better with some spectacular ultimate frisbee
display tonite.
The three teams - Stormchasers(Mumbai), Indicorp(Ahmedabad) and Flying
Dutchmen(IIMA) were out for some great contest on the opening day of the
Ultimate Frisbee Challenge. And guess what home team dominated just the way all
the home supporters expected beating both the opposing teams quite
comprehensively.
The results :
Match 1: Indicorp beat S'chasers 18-16
Match 2: Flying D'men beat Indicorp 27-17
Match 3: Flying D'men beat S'chasers 25-12
Indicorp were led by the brilliant combination of their 2 star players Jai and
Jesse. One of the youngster (prob Jiga) also showed some spectacular throws and
collects. Jesse's 12 feet high collect, flying over 2 offense players and one
of his teammates was the kodak moment of the first match. The Indicorp team
deserves a special appreciation for the fact that it was mixed gender team
making life really tough for all men opposition team.
Stormchasers put up a good fight in the first game but really lost the plot
against in the 2nd game against the Flying Dutchmen.They had a great thrower in
Sanal and a few good chasers in Qwick and Jhonny, but it seemed the team had a
few less experienced people as well and this cost them the game. But great
spirit shown by them in coming over from Mumbai and making this event
possible.
Flying Dutchmen were the team of the day (or night- considering they played
both their matches back to back after 9pm). May be no star players like Jesse
or Jai but the team was a really well balanced unit with no apparent weakness.
Defense was resilient and impressive to watch , offense was lightning fast
leaving the opposition defense chasing ghosts. The domination was so obvious
that in the 2nd half of the last game they were scoring freely even with the
reserves.
On a technical note - just need to iron out our throwing to make sure that
fewer turnovers happen.
All in all a great day of competition. Some great sporting spirit and some
great competetive frisbee. Hoping for a even greater final tomm at 9::30 pm,
same venue.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Life as I see it.
You're living a normal early teenage life. Doing what you so desire, top of the rung, happy.
Shit happens.
It breaks you - as a person, as a success in your own eyes in many other countless ways.
You reduce yourself to near nothingness. Much like a carcass disintegrating decidedly but ever so slowly, you gather the strength to get on to your feet. Life as you see it now has changed. Nothing could ever be the same again.
You become cold as you move on in life. Things just refuse to matter anymore. You can go the distance alone, or so you feel. You are happy alone. You think/love nought but yourself.
Cuts and bruises genuinely hurt a little less. There is focus in life, but most of it centered around your own self.
People refuse to understand you anymore. Friends drift apart, people get madly pissed at you. People you once cared for, are hurting badly and need you more than ever. Yet, you are indifferent inside, don't quite care and are content for the most of it.
Yet you are passionate, very much alive - for things you believe in, for things you want, for things that revolve mostly around you. You are living for yourself.
This is what I have found life to be. This is how I would define life progress, perhaps even success in a weird, contorted and twisted manner.
Shit happens.
It breaks you - as a person, as a success in your own eyes in many other countless ways.
You reduce yourself to near nothingness. Much like a carcass disintegrating decidedly but ever so slowly, you gather the strength to get on to your feet. Life as you see it now has changed. Nothing could ever be the same again.
You become cold as you move on in life. Things just refuse to matter anymore. You can go the distance alone, or so you feel. You are happy alone. You think/love nought but yourself.
Cuts and bruises genuinely hurt a little less. There is focus in life, but most of it centered around your own self.
People refuse to understand you anymore. Friends drift apart, people get madly pissed at you. People you once cared for, are hurting badly and need you more than ever. Yet, you are indifferent inside, don't quite care and are content for the most of it.
Yet you are passionate, very much alive - for things you believe in, for things you want, for things that revolve mostly around you. You are living for yourself.
This is what I have found life to be. This is how I would define life progress, perhaps even success in a weird, contorted and twisted manner.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Being Twenty Something
I didn't write this myself, but was something a friend mailed to me.
Found it to be quite accurate and true.
Sigh!!
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"
Found it to be quite accurate and true.
Sigh!!
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)