Everlasting Love

All about hoops, a ball, some rules and plays,
you have given me so many fun filled days.
You give me the freedom from life I so long for,
you help me mute the volume on life's daily war.

With you, I am myself, uninhibited, true, and free,
I care not for money, fame or any other stupidity.
That my love is pure, I know for I seek nothing from being with you,
yours is unconditional too, for you ask nothing but that I be with you.

You hurt me, you bleed me, you break me too,
for you I always buy the most expensive shoe,
and everyday, I wait to sweat an tire some more,
that much, far more infact, you, I adore.

Basketball - The only thing I'm sure I'm passionate about; I love you.
:)

Soulmate?

In hard times, she is my pillar of strength,
from the sinful world, she is my refuge,
in desperation and loneliness, she is my friend,
in times of darkness, she is my guiding light.

There aren't many for whom I'd go the length,
of creating of love and care a maddening deluge.
A little small talk with her, wish it'd never end,
it leaves me so much at peace, serene and light.

It's confusing at moments, lucid at others.
She's the integral part of my life of fractions,
what I would do without her, I cannot envision,
for above all, it is the only abode of my purity.

I have a subtle fear, what if this too withers,
possible for all of life's anomalies and aberrations,
yet, I vow to not let this love come to a cessation,
it is my all - it is what heaven means to me.

Abhishek Agarwal.

Of Love, Nothingness and Me

Nought more than a triviality was I,
in your highness's mundane life.
But a new toy to play with was I,
in your young princess's lonely life.
---
I could not bear upon myself to see,
the truth that I believe was my downfall,
the truth of what I didn't mean to thee,
the truth out in the open to one and all.

Yet today, my love you ask me to gaze,
upon what, I chose long before to not see,
which has been my pain in all those days,
when I was happily in bed with thee.

Gaze I have, and for very long too,
in the silent moments of the night,
Alas left with nothing more to do,
I gave up the will to fight.

Abhishek Agarwal

Third Term

Been some time since I posted, so just thought I'll talk a bit on random things.
Third term at IIMA has begun and with it the feeling of the end of 'fuchchadom', as the torment of the first year here is lovingly called. Though initially much looked forward to, I have my reservations about how badly and if at all I completely look forward to the end. 'Tuchchadom' as the emptiness and nothingness of the second year is fondly called is traditionally something every fresher considers to be near nirvana like.
After a very harsh and stressful first year, the sentiment is not without reason. A year with barely any holidays, tons of classes and the simmer placements to mention a few things, it was a very full one. With the internship right after and then back to second year, the respite we all seek can be found only in the second year itself. A well deserved break it definitely is, and possibly one in which we can go on to dive into subjects and activities of our choice, something nearly not possible in the first year. I too in the midst of the madness of previous terms had made and still make grand plans or what all I intend to do in my extremely 'vella' second year.
Looking back however, I realize that the sheer amount and quality of what I've been taught, and the fraction of it which I've learnt, is outstanding to say the least. Another year of such value addition not limited to the academic sense could do wonders in making me far more wholesome. Without any shame I admit that I would rather have them give me another year of hell which in retrospect would be one of the two most formative years of my life. I say this with a overall perspective too. There will no doubt be several of a who manage quite skillfully to make the best of the second year learning as we go, but there would I'm sure be a vast majority as well who would just while it away.
As the instruments of change in the future I do think we can, rather should have a more responsible outlook and seek a year of learning than one of just nothing!
Temptations have always been hard to resist, but as was once said, if not us who, if not now when?
Amen.

Now, I think I understand.

Forgiveness and Freedom

It's been hard. It's been nearly a year since the first shock and I'm still not exactly over it and can't quite deal with it too well etc. A year back two things were happening at the same time. A major part of my life was being made while the other very important part was breaking down. The first part has shaped up pretty well I must admit, perfect too maybe while of the other not too much it left.
It's like someone even swept away the embers of the fire and left nothing but the cold and the dark ash. Though I've accepted by now what's happened and fortunately or not it's had major consequences on a few aspects of my personality, my beliefs, thinking about it is still the hardest thing and my biggest weakness.
Forgiveness.
I forgive her. I really think I do.
I mean, let's face it, it will ALWAYS be difficult for me to deal with, think about etc, but that doesn't mean I can't forgive her. I love her too much. She meant the world to me and that's a feeling that gets etched in stone and never fades away. Today, this very day, I would give all for things to have gone differently, but they didn't. She's somewhere, with the one she loves and a smile on her face. I think that's all I ever wanted for her, just that I'd hoped to be a bigger reason for and part of the smile.
But then, "True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
I love her, in my own millions of ways and I always will. I think she knows that and believes in that.
Freedom.
I am free.
Accepting and facing this properly was one of the hardest things for me and will possibly hold that pedestal for some time to come. But I'm still working on it. I believe I'm at a crossroads in life and it doesn't feel too right, or that's what some people say.
I am where I am, what I am.
I am going where I want to be, becoming who I want to be.
I'm in love. I'm learning to live with that, accepting that as a part of life while moving on in a weird way.
I am.
God, keep me strong.

Fun Day

Had a nice day today. Got up for breakfast on time, then went back to sleep and slept through pretty much the whole day. Got up at 1630 and that in itself was a nice change, then was just chilling.
Started some whisky and hookah in my room with a couple of friends in the evening. Was having sheesha after so long it felt amazing. We then went out for dinner to Upper Crust, had some amazing baked chicken stuff with copious amounts of cheese (sigh!). Came back to campus and somehow landed up on the basketball court and joined in for a good game despite a stomach that looked fit to be two months pregnant. Got all sweaty and dirty (again) which completely made redundant my weekly bath (okay four days actually) I took in the afternoon.
But an amazing day. Had fun.
Cheers and hope many more like these come my way.
:)